About this time last year it seemed to me that I had a future full of possibilities.
In between then and now a number of things have happened which I rather wish had not.
The other night I was reading the Minx a bedtime story – this one:
The last time I read her this story was over two years ago. Before I left the law, before people who I thought were friends turned on me. Before so many things.
And somewhere between the little baby’s trip to the park and waving good night to his parents in the mirror I could feel tears welling up.
One of my yoga students this weekend pulled up mention of my legal background. “You are a lawyer?” she asked in surprise. “I was a lawyer” I corrected as softly as I could. There is no space in a yoga studio for left-over anger after all.
As I helped my class through their personal challenges – the lady who couldn’t push the floor away to bring herself to a seated position from savasana, someone else who has shed a husband and a house and is heading towards her new life – I realised that there is not none of us who gets to middle age without harm.
And with that I chose my closing guided meditation in the same way that I chose a bedtime story for my children. With an eye towards taking them on a journey.
“You talk such beautiful shit” my friend and personal Pilates trainer Stacey tells me after one such journey at the end of one of my classes.
When I have finished teaching a class I stand outside watching Sydney winter shadows slice through the suburbs, I realise while doing so that freedom, while costly and painful to achieve, is priceless.