A few weeks ago I travelled down to Canberra to see my very good friend Ally.
There were a lot of things on my mind at the time. On the top of the list of things on my mind was the need to spend some time on my own.
In my life I have spent very little time on my own. This is odd because I do actually enjoy my own company.
Canberra is very pleasant. The denizens of Canberra have, each and every one, mentioned to me that it is a big city hidden inside a country town. There are trees on every street. The streets feel lazy, drowsy, relaxed. In the city centre, politicians and civil servants walk purposefully but softly from one large air conditioned building to another. Commuter cyclists wend their contented way along wide bike lanes on straight roads.
It’s a zen capital city.
For me to say that I spend little time on my own seems unfair when to do so means leaving my husband and children behind.
My husband stands at exactly the same spot to take a photo of the sunrise for me every single morning. Yet every morning the cloudscape is different like an extempore pancake recipe of light and moisture.
Trips away alone carry the promise of peace and calm but with a tinge of menace. Who knows what while you are away? What will happen when you return?
As part of the process of moving forward sometimes shedding layers of skin and life is required. Sloughing off the old like a lizard with eczema. So off I went to see what I still looked like inside my own head.
When I started this blog I was a lawyer who wrote about shoes. Now what am I? A mother, a wife, a yoga teacher, a blogger and _____ ? And what? Somewhere through space and time I will be able to complete the blanks. Does this sound selfish? To paraphrase Oscar Wilde – you are only being selfish when you ask others to live as you want to live.
When Ally picked me up at the airport she wore this beautiful dress.I knew Ally before I started this blog. Ally has a love of colour and a knack with a floral frock that makes me joyful just to look at her. I felt my heart sort of leapt when I saw her.
“What is it that we seek?” I asked her on the way back to her house “Acceptance, happiness – what?”
There comes a point in every woman’s life when she wants to be something other than what everyone else wants her to be.
Not sure that I agree with this quote. My view is accept people for what they are and allow them to become who they want to become.
Anne Galivan once said to me – “I understand your shoe collection” she said ‘your shoes say do not underestimate me. I am so much more than you think I am.”
Luckily it seems that I have married someone who is prepared to be the me that my shoes tell me that I am.
Keep turning those pages…
Shoeper Shoe Challenge Shoe Saves
103 of 105 Lovely Spanish Shoes gifted by Miss Nomes Messenger
104 of 105 Gucci Steel Heeled Stilettos last worn here
One more shoe save to go…