Day 75 of the Shoe Challenge – On Barefaced Blogging & Instant Girl Kicks

Often I wonder whether I am the world’s worst female girl impersonator.

In the Eighties I worked for an extremely rough pub in Paisley, Hell’s Oxter*.  The manager had all his own teeth but very few of the customers did. The manager had delusions of grandeur. We had to scrub the ashtrays with bleach thrice nightly.  One night during the Staff Drink he asked me if I could try to wear more make up.   At the time, most of the time I looked like this:

except when I worked at the Oxter when I wore bright red lipstick & jet black kohl in the usual locations. Now and again I even wore high heels with my black pencil skirt and white catering issue shirt until my feet were nipping me**.

Those were the days when Proper Girls wore make up that looked like this:

or this:

Gratuitous Kylie Minogue Pic for the delectation of BearmanCartoons & my pal SF Wilson

I could never bring myself to wear pink makeup – then or now although one quiet day a co-worker gave me two Nurofen(R) brand tablets and forcibly plucked my eyebrows. They have never quite recovered.

On and off over the years, I have tried hard to do the Girl Thing, the cover girl make up, the styled hair.  In the places that I enjoy being the most – in the garden or at the beach doing the Girl Thing doesn’t cut it. In fact doing the Girl Thing is annoying.

So two things made me smile last week:

1. Google searching for the term “Instant Girl Shoes” and finding The Shoe Girl’s Blog; and

2.  Reading Jodie Ansted’s Blogging Without Make Up Day Post :

As Jodie puts it:

We all want to “look nice”, and there’s nothing wrong with glamming it up on occasion. I mean, I’d rather look at celebs in all their garb then not. Doesn’t mean I think they look less beautiful without the makeup – just that it’s appealing and a bit of fun for viewing.

But should I be SO concerned about trying to look good?

And yet – whether or not she is concerned she does look good without makeup as do many other female bloggers including (I hope) myself.

And yet – I still have this residual concern that I am just not quite good enough at being a girl. By searching for “Instant Girl Shoes” I was hoping to find that footpath towards feminity – the Holy Grail of Footwear.  It seems that it does not exist on the Internet at this time.
Furthermore if one was hoping to get advice on how to look like a girl from Google, you’ll be looking a long time:
I did manage to find an excellent pre-house departure checklist for girls who are boys who like boys to be girls (or vice versa) from VideoJug’s Fabulous Fairy Godmother:

The ultimate step to becoming a successful drag queen is to  Get Your Kicks (nothing makes your legs sexier than high heels).

Oh really, so why Fabulous Fairy Godmother did you pick such fugly shoes…


* Any resemblance to pubs still in existence is unfortunate, unforeseen and unintentional.

** A Paisley expression to describe the feeling of standing on one’s feet for 6 or 7 hours at a time while performing some kind of menial service industry role e.g. waitressing,  working in a pub.

SPECIAL THANKS TO @levis517 who has promised to mirror blog about being a Crap Girl too.

5 thoughts on “Day 75 of the Shoe Challenge – On Barefaced Blogging & Instant Girl Kicks

  1. Oh wow! I can’t tell you how exciting it was to see my little bloggy up on your blog! What a trip!

    I’m so glad you enjoyed BWM Day. It was so much fun seeing everyone get so in to it.

    As for the girly look – I’m not great at it either. Firstly, I think I’m too lazy to be fashionable. I couldn’t be bothered trying to keep up with all the trends. And when I shop, I just wanna get in and get out. (Some would say I shop like a man. They might be right.)

    However, I *did* wear pink lipstick in the 80s. In fact, I wore Blue Opal lipstick. It was pink with a hint of blue in it. VERY much the trend at the time.

    I still quite like a bit of pink lippy – but no blue, and far more pale then what I used to use!

    Thanks for the great read. x

    • Hi Jodie

      It was possibly the most embraced Twitter blogging/trending topic ever. Who would have believed that so many women could look so good without any make up?

      Next week – blogging without shaving armpits or legs?!

  2. you could always try the guy in ramallah for made to measure shoes. pushed, he could even, perhaps, make some new teeth for the unwashed of paisley. not too sure about the latter though even if they were made, some other gummy loser would probably try to kick them out again. it is dispiriting, of course, when you realise that we are talking about the women of buddy land. the men, of course, are a whole different story of a kind of gentility gone sour. it came to me quite recently, that paisley has become the drug capital of scotia. now, surely that deserves a mention in some book of records. paisley the drug capital of scotland. “fer makes yer wallies pop oot yer heid”, to quote the scots bard whose name I cannot quite remember at the moment. jimmy something or other, I believe. anyway, with paisley abbey, st mirins cathedral, the county square, the high street and too many and too numerous dirty wee hauffs (pubs) all I can say is “heres tae us wha’s like us”, that is, with or without teeth, real or plastic, made in hong kong or barrhead bus station. best regards from one who whistles through his ane wallies an entirely undistinguished and tuneless version of “mother macree”. now that kind of takes me on to whistling and paisley although, perhaps that could be for another time.

  3. As the least girly girl in my crew, I’d say that it is best to just be yourself. If you feel pink then be pink. If you feel like tracky dacks then do that. What really matters is how beautiful you are on the inside.

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