A classic double bind.
“Buy those boots” said my husband “but if you do, you have to promise not to buy any more boots this year“.
Who could agree to such a condition? And yet, just look at the boots in question:
No zips. Easy peasy to put on boots.
They are reduced until 30 April 2010 from £210 to £169 which translates to over AUS$300.00 for the boots once you bung on postage. I could buy a hell of a lot of vintage boots for that.
Now by vintage, I mean shoes that once belonged to someone else that have been rejected, boots that no-one loves. In other words, waif and stray boots. Orphan boots. The ones that someone bought in a sale or on eBay in a moment of mad frivolity. After months of trying to zip them up by sticking their legs up in the air while drinking green tea, fennel tea and anything else that might reduce their calf circumference they gave up in disgust. By “they” I necessarily include myself.
My pirate boots are sadly missed, I have been scouring my favourite boot purchasing place for months looking for a replacement. Me and quite a few others. Everytime I come close to winning a brand new replacement pair on eBay, someone snatches them from under my nose in the last 30 seconds of the eBay auction. There must be an iPhone App for that. Alternatively the ecommerce site that I visit only has the boots that I want in sizes 8 and up (I am a UK 5, Euro 38, Australia/US 7 just like about 60% of the population it would seem).
So I have entered into an unhealthy rebound relationship with a few pairs of orphan boots over the last few months. Every pair of orphans that I have bought have been worn once or twice (if that) – I can now read sole scratches like a pyschic can read palms and check the auction photos as if I was reading runes. When the orphans arrive I give them a good scrubbing down, skoosh the insides with anti-bacterial agents – eucalyptus oil, peppermint oil and lavender oil – and bung in newspaper over a period of days to draw out any residual nasties. Only when my son says “Mummy, what’s that smell?” do I know that the fight-the-fungus process is complete. Then the scary getting -to-know-you bit begins.
The thing about rebound boots is that they are never the same as the boots that you left behind. No boot will ever be the same, smell the same, hike your calves up quite the same. This I have learned. Also there is a logical reason why these boots have only been worn once or twice. The reason being – blisters.
Throughout the Shoe Challenge, I have encountered very few shoe related blisters. Either shoes are getting better these days or I have enough keratin built up on pressure points on my feet to prevent them. Out of 68 separate footwear pairs, I have encountered four repeat blister inflicting offenders.
The blister culprits are:
Day 1 – the Russell & Bromley Cherry Heeled Mules – acrylic uppers and human skin on a warm spring day lead to blisters across all five toes and the bony bit at the top of my foot which is apparently called the intermediate cunieform according to this diagram that I found on Foothealth.about.com.
Day 14 Prada Open Toed Silver Mules Blisters infliced as described above to the area shown below.
Day 37 – Caged Ankle Boots the calcaneal tendon on the back of both my right and left ankles was rubbed raw by the zips up the back of the boots.
Day 52 – Alan Pinkus Silk Sandals the clear acrylic threads that wrapped over the silk straps rubbed from my hallux (big toe bone) down and over the first cunieform bone to the third cunieform bones (according to Gray’s Anatomy anyway, the book not the TV program):
None of the blister culprits were orphans. I have had them in my possession since they were brand new. Not that that has helped.
The rebound boots that I wore today are the first orphans to attack me, which is unusual in a low heeled conservatively styled boot. These munched away the skin on the inside of my ankle at the origin of the abductor hallucis at the calcaneus bone at the back of the foot. The resulting blister looked kind of like this by the time I got to work:
IHaving worn so many new shoes (including trainers) blisters are a sure sign to me now that something has gone fundamentally wrong in the manufacturing process of the footwear causing it. In other words, the blisters are as likely as not to reappear the next time you wear the offending items. I’ll be getting some of those blister prevention pads aka big, huge sticky plasters (aka adhesive bandages such as Elastoplast (R) brand sticky plasters or Band-Aid(R) brand sticky plasters) . Those work a lot better than cotton eye make up removal pads and sticky tape, I find.
My boot rebound relationships aren’t not working for me. So maybe it is time to eschew all others and go think about going steady with a pair of RoSa Shoes stiletto heeled boots…