Day 46 of the Shoe Challenge – Two Lawyers, a bear, a pair of sensible shoes and a crap joke

Hanna Button Toe Pumps at Zappo

As a yoga teacher I spend an enormous amount of time reminding people to spread their toes to regain their connection with the earth. Cramming your toes into the tight restraints of fashionable shoes is a major yoga no-no. It is not as bad as farting in a yoga class but that is a topic best left to the one side.

My chiropractor goes on at me constantly for wearing high heels. Apparently I should be wearing sensible shoes like the Ecco low heeled pumps above to work.

Not being known for doing what health professionals tell me to do, I nod and smile and agree and go back to wearing high heels until the next time that I go for an spine cracking adjustment.

However, just as you will find a pair of large, time of the month knickers in every woman’s lingerie drawer you will also find that there are a number of low heeled and flat shoes in my collection.  Though it pains me to do so the time has come to get my sensible shoes out in the interests of accurate blogging.  If you are a die hard high heel lover you might want to have a wee keek at someone else’s shoe blog for the next few days – the writer of  The Shoe Girl’s Blog has some rather nice spikey heels this week.

For those of you who are still reading, here is my first pair of sensible shoes.

These are by Prada so at least I can claim a bit of Italian chic-ery along with the undeniable run-flat-out-for-a-bus comfort factor.  When I bought these I was living in Glasgow and working in Edinburgh. The train trip from Glasgow Queen Street to Haymarket in Edinburgh only takes about 50 minutes on a good day. For your average Australian a commute of less than an hour is considered an easy one.  Please bear in mind that on a bad day though, particularly in the winter, the commute can take three hours. It only takes one day of travelling 3 hours to work on a Cityrail train to make you lose the will to live. This tends to happen at least once a week particularly in the Autumn when the train tracks are covered in leaves. Indeed. Leaves.

When you are 2 hours late for work there are two things that you can do. You can:

(a)  wander in nonchalantly and pretend that you were meeting an important potential client about work (good for an excuse about once a month);

(b) suck it up and run into the office sweating with your chest heaving as if your lungs are about to explode muttering expletives, panting dramatically and repeating the words “train” . “leaves on the tracks” and “really, really sorry” a lot until you collapse in a heap on the floor.

If you are going to choose option (b) you need to be convincing. The best way to be convincing I found is to run flat out between Haymarket and Wherever You Work (in my case a firm called Anderson Strathern).  If you have ever been in Edinburgh you will know that it is completely impossible running in anything other than completely flat shoes because the streets look like this:

Since it would be suicidal to try sprinting in a pair of stilettoes on the cobbles my sensible shoes were not a bad half-way house between comfort and office smartness.  Unless of course I had been running away from a bear on the cobbles, which brings me to the shit joke.

A bear smells two female lawyers walking through the woods and trundles towards them with a gleam in its eyes.

The first lawyer kicks off her high heels pulls a pair of ballet flats out of her hand bag and starts putting them on. The second lawyer looks at her sideways and says “You’re mental! You’ll never outrun a bear!”

“That’s okay” the first lawyer replies, “I don’t have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you.”

Boom, boom.

2 thoughts on “Day 46 of the Shoe Challenge – Two Lawyers, a bear, a pair of sensible shoes and a crap joke

  1. Oh sensible shoe, how I hate thee (though yours do look rather snazzy, those Italians can make anything look good).

    I am a sworn heel fan, but I do try on occasion to be semi-sensible with my shoe purchases, so that I have enough pairs of heels that I can comfortably run in to balance out the ones that I’ll only wear if I’m guaranteed door-to-door transportation.

    But the other day I fell in love with a pair of shiny sling backs, and yes they may have been a half size too small but they were shiny! And sling backy! Anyway, I wore them out shopping with the husband over the weekend, and my hobbling got so bad that aforementioned husband made me go and buy a pair of flats to wear instead, for shame.

  2. Ah for shame, exactly what I was thinking. I despise the flat or sensible shoe too. But as I seem to go from casual office to casual office, I give in to them. I’ll tell you a dirty secret – today I’m wearing the pair of silver strappy thongs that Miss Calcei argues are more Haviana-esque than glamorous. Though considering what I am wearing them with, I beg to differ.

    My compromise to growing older and discovering things like chiropractic issues, foot issues and such, has been to invest in the best quality heels possible. Florsheim and RMK make heels you can run in and they don’t cost the earth.

    But tomorrow is Friday, so I just might splash out and work my patent hot pink heels in to my outfit. It would protect me from certain downfalls of wearing sandals… the Redfern/Surry Hills streets are impossible to navigate in such flats when it rains.

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